Blog number 322 **** 23 July 2009
That strange weight machine in Mom's (we call her, "Mom." Or "Mother Teresa, Jr.") bathroom, I don't understand. It has four gray metal-like areas which the instructions tell you that you are to make sure your heels and balls of your feet are touching. It has a battery. So it's electrical.
I went in there this morn - nakid, and I weighed myself. One hundred eighty pounds US. I had brought in a fifteen pound barbell that I had lain on the table by the weight machine. I picked that up and I still weighed one hundred eighty pounds. Hmmm. I then stepped off the "scale," got back on and weighed exactly fifteen pounds more. So the damn thing does measure weight! I thought maybe it had something to do with body fat or something.
Maybe it is an electrical pressure type of thing, although Buddha knows how that could work.
I told the lovely Teresa about it and asked her if she ever wore shoes on it. She told me what happened, but I forgot, so I asked her again and she said the numbers stayed on zero. I don't believe that. Teresa often gives an answer to a question not asked, while not answering the asked question. So I put one of my sandals on and I weighed one hundred eighty-four pounds. Now I know my sandals don't weigh four pounds apiece, so I put on the other one too and gained a pound. One hundred eighty-five.
That's a crazy weighing machine. I'd like to been there when whomever got the idea to make that conundrum.
Thursday, July 23, 2009
Tuesday, July 21, 2009
HISTORY CAN BE FUN
Blog number 321 **** 21 July 2009
There is a new genre of history books out now. They started being written about the time Doris Goodwin's "Team of Rivals" was being written. Used to be there was not so much detail in historical figures or events, but now books like "Team of Rivals," "The Somme," "Vicksburg," etc. - books running from over 600 to over 800 pages packed full of interesting details seem to be the way to go.
There is a good word I wanted to use in place of "way to go" back there, but I just can't bring it up from my memory banks. If anyone can think of what that word might be, send it to me and you might win a brand new car!
Another interesting fact about these types of book is that they read like novels and are not that dry date-packed morass which we used to have been fed.
Goody.
There is a new genre of history books out now. They started being written about the time Doris Goodwin's "Team of Rivals" was being written. Used to be there was not so much detail in historical figures or events, but now books like "Team of Rivals," "The Somme," "Vicksburg," etc. - books running from over 600 to over 800 pages packed full of interesting details seem to be the way to go.
There is a good word I wanted to use in place of "way to go" back there, but I just can't bring it up from my memory banks. If anyone can think of what that word might be, send it to me and you might win a brand new car!
Another interesting fact about these types of book is that they read like novels and are not that dry date-packed morass which we used to have been fed.
Goody.
I LOVE GOOD PHRASES
Blog number 320 **** 21 July 2009
I'm reading this book about WW l called, "The Somme" by Peter Hart and he tells of a dispute between British authorities on how best to beat Germany.
General Haig wants to beat Germany itself, British politicians think it better to beat Germany's allies first and then Germany will fall.
Whenever these politicians visit Gen. Haig's Headquarters, he has to listen to what he terms their nonsense. Gen. Haig said of their arguments, "That is like a boxer leaving the ring to beat up his opponent's seconds."
I'm reading this book about WW l called, "The Somme" by Peter Hart and he tells of a dispute between British authorities on how best to beat Germany.
General Haig wants to beat Germany itself, British politicians think it better to beat Germany's allies first and then Germany will fall.
Whenever these politicians visit Gen. Haig's Headquarters, he has to listen to what he terms their nonsense. Gen. Haig said of their arguments, "That is like a boxer leaving the ring to beat up his opponent's seconds."
I MIGHT BE AN INTELLECTUAL
Blog number 319 **** 21 July 2009
I was sitting in the dentist's office waiting for mi espousa and I noticed a magazine entitled "Biblical Archaeology." At first I just kind of ignored it because I thought it was one of those children's magazines they pass out in Bible school. As I kept glancing at it, I began to think it wasn't. So I picked it up and found that it was a very erudite rendition of a host of Biblical Archaeology topics - seemingly mostly fights between archaeologists and Jewish museum authorities concerning what was and what wasn't fake.
Within the pages was a discussion of whether or not ancient mosaics of Orpheus were the forerunners of mosaics of Jesus. Orpheus was the hero of an ancient Greek myth who supposedly could play the lyre so well that he could charm the animals. His wife Eurydice, whom he loved desperately, died, and Orpheus went into Hades to try and charm the Keeper of Hades into letting Eurydice come back. Orpheus got permission with the caveat that Eurydice follow him and he would not look back at her until they were back in the upper world.
Orpheus looked back.
My point in telling this story? I am reading a novel called, "The Temple of the Golden Pavilion" by Yukio Mishima and I read, "... I felt that if I were suddenly to turn round and look again, its form would vanish exactly like that of Eurydice."
I felt like one of those intellectuals at a cocktail party that could understand the discussions of the Cambridge educated. I was so happy to be able to understand that phrase without resorting to Google.
Doesn't take all that much to make me happy.
Mimi's bread pudding would do it too.
I was sitting in the dentist's office waiting for mi espousa and I noticed a magazine entitled "Biblical Archaeology." At first I just kind of ignored it because I thought it was one of those children's magazines they pass out in Bible school. As I kept glancing at it, I began to think it wasn't. So I picked it up and found that it was a very erudite rendition of a host of Biblical Archaeology topics - seemingly mostly fights between archaeologists and Jewish museum authorities concerning what was and what wasn't fake.
Within the pages was a discussion of whether or not ancient mosaics of Orpheus were the forerunners of mosaics of Jesus. Orpheus was the hero of an ancient Greek myth who supposedly could play the lyre so well that he could charm the animals. His wife Eurydice, whom he loved desperately, died, and Orpheus went into Hades to try and charm the Keeper of Hades into letting Eurydice come back. Orpheus got permission with the caveat that Eurydice follow him and he would not look back at her until they were back in the upper world.
Orpheus looked back.
My point in telling this story? I am reading a novel called, "The Temple of the Golden Pavilion" by Yukio Mishima and I read, "... I felt that if I were suddenly to turn round and look again, its form would vanish exactly like that of Eurydice."
I felt like one of those intellectuals at a cocktail party that could understand the discussions of the Cambridge educated. I was so happy to be able to understand that phrase without resorting to Google.
Doesn't take all that much to make me happy.
Mimi's bread pudding would do it too.
OLD IS BETTER
Blog number 318 **** 21 July 2009
I unexpectedly saw myself in a mirror a couple of days ago and for the first time I saw an old man looking back at me - an old man like my beloved Grandpa.
Now that I know I am an old man, I feel freer than when I thought I was still young. I now feel free to ask questions of strangers that I used to not ask because I never felt comfortable asking questions of strangers about what they were doing. Males might think I was being aggressive, females might think I was trying to pick them up.
I can be even more proactive with babies and young'uns now, too.
It's a good life.
I unexpectedly saw myself in a mirror a couple of days ago and for the first time I saw an old man looking back at me - an old man like my beloved Grandpa.
Now that I know I am an old man, I feel freer than when I thought I was still young. I now feel free to ask questions of strangers that I used to not ask because I never felt comfortable asking questions of strangers about what they were doing. Males might think I was being aggressive, females might think I was trying to pick them up.
I can be even more proactive with babies and young'uns now, too.
It's a good life.
Friday, July 17, 2009
GOD PROBABLY JUST GOT FED UP
Blog number 317 **** 17 July 2009
I got an E-mail today from one Mrs. Susan Shabangu, Minister of Mining, South Africa, regarding "Urgent transfer assistance." She says, "after due deliberation with my children," (why she had to talk it over with her children, I can't imagine.) she decided to contact me for my assistance in standing as a beneficiary to the sum of US$30.5M (Thirty Million five hundred thousand United States Dollars.) How sweet. She then goes on to say that only I can view her profile at (and here she gives me a website address.) I thought it big of her to give me an exclusive look into her profile.
She's very secretive, you know.
I felt honored.
Evidently her husband stole this money from his government and she will give me 20% of it if I help her to continue keeping this money in its original stolen state. She goes into much detail, including a promised visit by her son to set things up, then she gives best wishes to me and my family.
How nice.
My first thought upon perusing this missile was that anyone who fell for this scheme would do so only because they wanted to help steal the money and therefore monies scammed from them would be fair dickum. Then I thought about all the hundreds of people that did fall for it. Some of them showing up on Judge Judy and Brown. Dishonest people, wouldn't you say?
This led me to thoughts of the rampant criminality of most humans - many of our elected leaders, the CEOs, managers and salesmen of corporations, common street thieves, selfish graffiti artists, hit and runners, and all the myriad scumbags inhabiting the earth and it struck me that at one time God probably just got sick and tired of all those lowlifes and that's why He drowned them. Except for Noah, et al.
I can see His point.
A person can only take so much.
Too bad about the saintly and the innocent, but you gotta expect some collateral damage when you engage in a punishment campaign. Dunno why He picked Noah and his family to save. Must have been some other good folks around there somewheres. Maybe Noah was the only one that knew how to build a big boat.
I can't believe Noah and his family were the only good people alive.
I could be wrong.
But I don't think so.
I got an E-mail today from one Mrs. Susan Shabangu, Minister of Mining, South Africa, regarding "Urgent transfer assistance." She says, "after due deliberation with my children," (why she had to talk it over with her children, I can't imagine.) she decided to contact me for my assistance in standing as a beneficiary to the sum of US$30.5M (Thirty Million five hundred thousand United States Dollars.) How sweet. She then goes on to say that only I can view her profile at (and here she gives me a website address.) I thought it big of her to give me an exclusive look into her profile.
She's very secretive, you know.
I felt honored.
Evidently her husband stole this money from his government and she will give me 20% of it if I help her to continue keeping this money in its original stolen state. She goes into much detail, including a promised visit by her son to set things up, then she gives best wishes to me and my family.
How nice.
My first thought upon perusing this missile was that anyone who fell for this scheme would do so only because they wanted to help steal the money and therefore monies scammed from them would be fair dickum. Then I thought about all the hundreds of people that did fall for it. Some of them showing up on Judge Judy and Brown. Dishonest people, wouldn't you say?
This led me to thoughts of the rampant criminality of most humans - many of our elected leaders, the CEOs, managers and salesmen of corporations, common street thieves, selfish graffiti artists, hit and runners, and all the myriad scumbags inhabiting the earth and it struck me that at one time God probably just got sick and tired of all those lowlifes and that's why He drowned them. Except for Noah, et al.
I can see His point.
A person can only take so much.
Too bad about the saintly and the innocent, but you gotta expect some collateral damage when you engage in a punishment campaign. Dunno why He picked Noah and his family to save. Must have been some other good folks around there somewheres. Maybe Noah was the only one that knew how to build a big boat.
I can't believe Noah and his family were the only good people alive.
I could be wrong.
But I don't think so.
I DON'T UNDERSTAND
Blog number 316 **** 17 July 2009
We have, in the bathroom, a scale that measures weight not by using springs or balances or any other obvious weight measuring device. Instead it uses what appears to me to be the electrical resistance between the heels of the feet and the balls of the feet. Can you believe that?
I don't understand.
We have, in the bathroom, a scale that measures weight not by using springs or balances or any other obvious weight measuring device. Instead it uses what appears to me to be the electrical resistance between the heels of the feet and the balls of the feet. Can you believe that?
I don't understand.
NOW THAT WAS A BAD MOVIE!
Blog number 315 **** 17 July 2009
We went to see the movie, "My Sister's Keeper" today. It had, in order to hold our interest, lots and lots of flashbacks accompanied by photos, photos, photos of the family making funny faces and having fun, fun, fun. Ever watch a family's vacation photos for an hour? A family you never met? Like that.
I kept thinking, "Damn! So die already! Reminded me of that Academy Award winning movie, "The English Patient." I kept praying for death all through that one too. Another match between the two movies is that we walked out on both of them.
We went to see the movie, "My Sister's Keeper" today. It had, in order to hold our interest, lots and lots of flashbacks accompanied by photos, photos, photos of the family making funny faces and having fun, fun, fun. Ever watch a family's vacation photos for an hour? A family you never met? Like that.
I kept thinking, "Damn! So die already! Reminded me of that Academy Award winning movie, "The English Patient." I kept praying for death all through that one too. Another match between the two movies is that we walked out on both of them.
Saturday, July 11, 2009
NOW THAT WAS A GOOD DAY!
Blog number 314 **** 11 July 2009
We went to Fry's for groceries yesterday. I drink espressos while mi espousa shops. I carry only two dollar bills and fifty cent pieces and the bills are folded up in my change purse, so when I go to pay, I take them all out (just the bills, not the fifty cent pieces) and peel off the number of bills I need. When I peeled off three yesterday, one of the two girls standing there said, "Where do you get all those two dollar bills?""
I buy them," I told her. "I only pay a dollar each for them."
Still holding the bills, she looked at me in amazement and I could see the gears grinding away in her head. I grinned and waved my hand in front of her, saying, "No, no."
She laughed and said she had plans already forming about buying a lot of two dollar bills and making a fortune. She continued, "I'm so gullible."
I said, "You know, they took 'gullible' out of the dictionary, don't you?" She kind of nodded, like she'd heard it before, but the other girl said, "Really? Why'd they do that?"
Hah! Fun day.
We went to Fry's for groceries yesterday. I drink espressos while mi espousa shops. I carry only two dollar bills and fifty cent pieces and the bills are folded up in my change purse, so when I go to pay, I take them all out (just the bills, not the fifty cent pieces) and peel off the number of bills I need. When I peeled off three yesterday, one of the two girls standing there said, "Where do you get all those two dollar bills?""
I buy them," I told her. "I only pay a dollar each for them."
Still holding the bills, she looked at me in amazement and I could see the gears grinding away in her head. I grinned and waved my hand in front of her, saying, "No, no."
She laughed and said she had plans already forming about buying a lot of two dollar bills and making a fortune. She continued, "I'm so gullible."
I said, "You know, they took 'gullible' out of the dictionary, don't you?" She kind of nodded, like she'd heard it before, but the other girl said, "Really? Why'd they do that?"
Hah! Fun day.
Tuesday, July 7, 2009
WEIRD WAR STORIES
Blog number 313 **** 07 July 2009
I'm reading a book called, "Vicksburg 1863" - a story about the siege of Vicksburg Mississippi during the American Civil War.
The Federals have Vicksburg surrounded, but the Rebels have been able to prevent them from entering the city. The Federals tunnel under the Rebel's trenches and breastworks, fill the tunnels with barrels of black powder and then set off the barrels, blowing up the breastworks.
The Rebels start a tunnel on their side, hoping to blow up the Federals tunnel before the Federals can set it off. The Federals blow up their tunnel before the rebels can set theirs off, killing six men. Because of this, the Rebels started using slaves for tunneling, with one white overseer.
One slave had been working deep underground when the tunnel was set off. The blast sailed him clear over into the Federal line. When asked how high he thought he had been blown, he replied, "Dunno, massa, but I t'ink about t'ree miles."
A contingent of Iowa soldiers set the man up in a tent and charged fifty cents for people to take a look at him.
On another page, there is a description of a man about to eat from a spoon who has the spoon shot out from his hand. He said, "That was cool." - one hundred years before it was cool to say cool.
I'm reading a book called, "Vicksburg 1863" - a story about the siege of Vicksburg Mississippi during the American Civil War.
The Federals have Vicksburg surrounded, but the Rebels have been able to prevent them from entering the city. The Federals tunnel under the Rebel's trenches and breastworks, fill the tunnels with barrels of black powder and then set off the barrels, blowing up the breastworks.
The Rebels start a tunnel on their side, hoping to blow up the Federals tunnel before the Federals can set it off. The Federals blow up their tunnel before the rebels can set theirs off, killing six men. Because of this, the Rebels started using slaves for tunneling, with one white overseer.
One slave had been working deep underground when the tunnel was set off. The blast sailed him clear over into the Federal line. When asked how high he thought he had been blown, he replied, "Dunno, massa, but I t'ink about t'ree miles."
A contingent of Iowa soldiers set the man up in a tent and charged fifty cents for people to take a look at him.
On another page, there is a description of a man about to eat from a spoon who has the spoon shot out from his hand. He said, "That was cool." - one hundred years before it was cool to say cool.
Wednesday, July 1, 2009
IT'S BEEN A NICE DAY
Blog number 312 **** 01 July 2009
Back in the early seventies I worked in an office in the Air Force with a secretary. She was taking a literature course in Junior College. She let me read a short story in one of her books about a married Japanese couple that had to commit seppuku - Hari Kari to the uninitiated. The story was mostly a detailed account of what constitutes seppuku.
That story has remained in the back of my mind ever since.
Two days ago I finished reading a book called, "Rogue Messiahs" by Colin Wilson. It's an interesting book about people like Jim Jones and Alister Crowley, et al. Mentioned in the list of rogue messiahs was one Mishima Yukio, and mentioned in his list of stories and novels that he had written, was "Patriotism," which was that same story I had read lo those many years ago. It was like running unexpectedly into an old friend.
Then today, reading an autobiography by Robert Klein called, "The Amorous Busboy of Decatur Avenue," I find that Mr. Klein had directed a one-act play called, "Crawling Arnold" - a play in which I had a large part when I took Drama in Junior College. THAT was an even closer "old friend." I haven't been in all that many plays. One in seventh grade, one as a Senior in High School, and then Crawling Arnold. Three.
*************************************
Tonight we went to Mimi's for dinner. One of our favorite waitresses was just getting off work and Teresa stopped to talk to her. I, standing behind Teresa, heard this sweet voice to my right. I looked and a brunette about four years old was actively engaged with her family. I reached over and put my hand on top of her head. She didn't respond, but her mother told her, "That man said hi to you."
The little girl turned around, looked at me with pleasure and said hi. Then she scrambled to get out of the booth, hurried to me, grabbed me around the legs and gave me a big hug. What a surprise, after so many babies being afraid of me. I never expected that. Teresa saw this and said hi to the girl, so she ran to Teresa and gave her a big hug. She then proceeded to tell us who were her sisters, her brother, her Daddy and her Mother.
Sweet, sweet, child.
Back in the early seventies I worked in an office in the Air Force with a secretary. She was taking a literature course in Junior College. She let me read a short story in one of her books about a married Japanese couple that had to commit seppuku - Hari Kari to the uninitiated. The story was mostly a detailed account of what constitutes seppuku.
That story has remained in the back of my mind ever since.
Two days ago I finished reading a book called, "Rogue Messiahs" by Colin Wilson. It's an interesting book about people like Jim Jones and Alister Crowley, et al. Mentioned in the list of rogue messiahs was one Mishima Yukio, and mentioned in his list of stories and novels that he had written, was "Patriotism," which was that same story I had read lo those many years ago. It was like running unexpectedly into an old friend.
Then today, reading an autobiography by Robert Klein called, "The Amorous Busboy of Decatur Avenue," I find that Mr. Klein had directed a one-act play called, "Crawling Arnold" - a play in which I had a large part when I took Drama in Junior College. THAT was an even closer "old friend." I haven't been in all that many plays. One in seventh grade, one as a Senior in High School, and then Crawling Arnold. Three.
*************************************
Tonight we went to Mimi's for dinner. One of our favorite waitresses was just getting off work and Teresa stopped to talk to her. I, standing behind Teresa, heard this sweet voice to my right. I looked and a brunette about four years old was actively engaged with her family. I reached over and put my hand on top of her head. She didn't respond, but her mother told her, "That man said hi to you."
The little girl turned around, looked at me with pleasure and said hi. Then she scrambled to get out of the booth, hurried to me, grabbed me around the legs and gave me a big hug. What a surprise, after so many babies being afraid of me. I never expected that. Teresa saw this and said hi to the girl, so she ran to Teresa and gave her a big hug. She then proceeded to tell us who were her sisters, her brother, her Daddy and her Mother.
Sweet, sweet, child.
YOU NEVER KNOW, REALLY
Blog number 311 **** 01 July 2009
I can't help but think that there is an untold story to Bernard Madoff's Ponzi scheme shenanigans. He always looks so like a kind old man - in newspaper pictures and on the telly, and it has been my experience that people's innards show in their faces. Nixon looked like a slimy person, George W. looks slow of mind, Barney Franks looks like a "to hell with you if you don't like it" person, Hitler looked nuts, Goering looked self-satisfied.
Madoff never, to my knowledge, ever showed that hubris that is so common to those who rule by deceit. He was the only Ponzi schemer that, instead of being caught, confessed before anyone knew what was going on.
I wonder if his relationship with his wife had anything to do with it - that it started by him acceding to a wish or two of hers and just grew. I have trouble believing that he started out thinking, "I'm going to cheat a lot of my friends out of a lot of money." Not with that face, he didn't.
I can't help but think that there is an untold story to Bernard Madoff's Ponzi scheme shenanigans. He always looks so like a kind old man - in newspaper pictures and on the telly, and it has been my experience that people's innards show in their faces. Nixon looked like a slimy person, George W. looks slow of mind, Barney Franks looks like a "to hell with you if you don't like it" person, Hitler looked nuts, Goering looked self-satisfied.
Madoff never, to my knowledge, ever showed that hubris that is so common to those who rule by deceit. He was the only Ponzi schemer that, instead of being caught, confessed before anyone knew what was going on.
I wonder if his relationship with his wife had anything to do with it - that it started by him acceding to a wish or two of hers and just grew. I have trouble believing that he started out thinking, "I'm going to cheat a lot of my friends out of a lot of money." Not with that face, he didn't.
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