Blog number 418 **** 16 September, 2010
I just finished reading a little more in my David Sedaris' book, and I realized anew that THAT GUY IS FUNNY! It might be me, and probably it is, since my discovery that different people have a different idea about what is funny and what is not. But since this is my reality alone, David Sedaris remains the top funny writer in the world.
An entry or so ago I told how I thought that maybe this was the first time I was reading the whole of "Me Talk Pretty One Day," but every time I mentioned this to my lovely and loving wife, she would say, "No, I remember you raving about how funny the guy was while you were reading it before - just like you're doing now."
David Sedaris for humorous writing, Van Gogh for beautiful painting, Mother Teresa for compassion, Maharijii for excellent humanity, Trader Joe's for good groceries, Ace hardware for good service and available items, and me, my constant companion. It doesn't get any better than that. As far as I know.
Thursday, September 16, 2010
Wednesday, September 15, 2010
...BUT THERE IS NO HOMEWORK
Blog number 417 **** 15 September, 2010
I am doing a very interesting jigsaw puzzle now. It is a beach scene, but the picture shown on the cover is not the one that is the puzzle. Instead, it is a view from the eyes of a lifeguard who, along with everyone else, is running in panic away from the ocean. Coming at them from the ocean is a crowd of boats, submarines, rafts, ship wreaks, inner tubes, giant squid and other random and unusual flotsam and jetsam, all heading onto the beach.
The unusual thing about this puzzle is that the cover is useless as a guide. Nothing in the puzzle appears on the picture on the cover. 1000 pieces, no guide. Neat!
For most of my early jigsaw-puzzle-putting-together days, I toyed with the idea of trying to do a puzzle with every piece showing only the backside. I never got to do it because the pictures were so interesting. But this puzzle is kinda close to that. Yes? Ballpark anyhow?
The guy that painted this picture really had fun doing it. You can tell. I've done three of his puzzle paintings before. He has weird and funny things happening and the cartoon characters and the happenings are very strange. Two of the three paintings you could tell he really got a kick out of doing them. One ice skating scene, one parade, he had fun. A boat scene he painted, to me it looked like he was doing something he really wasn't interested in doing, but had to get done in order to sell it.
Another thing about this one I'm doing now - he painted an elaborate beach scene and then he painted an elaborate ocean scene. Two paintings that took a lot of time, talent and effort, for only one puzzle? Or does he have another that is the beach scene as seen from a captain on one of the boats? If so, I'd sure like to find that one. I'm gonna look.
Before this one, I did a 2000 piece puzzle of one of Van Gogh's paintings that I had never seen before. Doing it, I could almost get into Van Gogh's head and see how much joy and excitement he had doing the painting. It was like he couldn't wait to dip his brush into his palette and splash it onto his canvas. Faster! Faster! Faster! What a guy.
I once saw a movie about him and at the end of the movie, hundreds of his paintings were flashed upon the scene. I had no idea he painted so many paintings. You ordinarily see only a few selected pieces, ad infinitum.
He used objects, not to show them, but as carriers for color. He wasn't interested in how a chair or a person really looked. He just wanted something that he could color. I look upon him now as an abstract artist before there were abstract artists.
An abstract artist is interested in color or form, but they don't need an object, they just splash on the color wherever they feel it belongs. This is much better. This Van Gogh way. My artist hero.
I am doing a very interesting jigsaw puzzle now. It is a beach scene, but the picture shown on the cover is not the one that is the puzzle. Instead, it is a view from the eyes of a lifeguard who, along with everyone else, is running in panic away from the ocean. Coming at them from the ocean is a crowd of boats, submarines, rafts, ship wreaks, inner tubes, giant squid and other random and unusual flotsam and jetsam, all heading onto the beach.
The unusual thing about this puzzle is that the cover is useless as a guide. Nothing in the puzzle appears on the picture on the cover. 1000 pieces, no guide. Neat!
For most of my early jigsaw-puzzle-putting-together days, I toyed with the idea of trying to do a puzzle with every piece showing only the backside. I never got to do it because the pictures were so interesting. But this puzzle is kinda close to that. Yes? Ballpark anyhow?
The guy that painted this picture really had fun doing it. You can tell. I've done three of his puzzle paintings before. He has weird and funny things happening and the cartoon characters and the happenings are very strange. Two of the three paintings you could tell he really got a kick out of doing them. One ice skating scene, one parade, he had fun. A boat scene he painted, to me it looked like he was doing something he really wasn't interested in doing, but had to get done in order to sell it.
Another thing about this one I'm doing now - he painted an elaborate beach scene and then he painted an elaborate ocean scene. Two paintings that took a lot of time, talent and effort, for only one puzzle? Or does he have another that is the beach scene as seen from a captain on one of the boats? If so, I'd sure like to find that one. I'm gonna look.
Before this one, I did a 2000 piece puzzle of one of Van Gogh's paintings that I had never seen before. Doing it, I could almost get into Van Gogh's head and see how much joy and excitement he had doing the painting. It was like he couldn't wait to dip his brush into his palette and splash it onto his canvas. Faster! Faster! Faster! What a guy.
I once saw a movie about him and at the end of the movie, hundreds of his paintings were flashed upon the scene. I had no idea he painted so many paintings. You ordinarily see only a few selected pieces, ad infinitum.
He used objects, not to show them, but as carriers for color. He wasn't interested in how a chair or a person really looked. He just wanted something that he could color. I look upon him now as an abstract artist before there were abstract artists.
An abstract artist is interested in color or form, but they don't need an object, they just splash on the color wherever they feel it belongs. This is much better. This Van Gogh way. My artist hero.
Tuesday, September 14, 2010
ROW ROW ROW YOUR BOAT
Blog number 416 **** 14 September, 2010
So my wife is watching a Si Fi program called, "Warehouse Thirteen." I'm working on my jigsaw puzzle. I hear one of the characters in my wife's program say, "We'll enter a world vastly more mysterious than anyone of us can understand."
Like this one is understandable.
Cows eat grass and water and out of that they make flesh, blood, milk, calfs, eyeballs, teeth, hair, hooves. They are extremely efficient chemical factories.
It is very easy to understand how they do this, is it not?
And if that doesn't grind your wheels, how about the fact that the cow eats what has been created using sunlight and water?
So beef, sight, smell, hair, blood, all have been built using sunlight and water for ingredients.
Understand?
So my wife is watching a Si Fi program called, "Warehouse Thirteen." I'm working on my jigsaw puzzle. I hear one of the characters in my wife's program say, "We'll enter a world vastly more mysterious than anyone of us can understand."
Like this one is understandable.
Cows eat grass and water and out of that they make flesh, blood, milk, calfs, eyeballs, teeth, hair, hooves. They are extremely efficient chemical factories.
It is very easy to understand how they do this, is it not?
And if that doesn't grind your wheels, how about the fact that the cow eats what has been created using sunlight and water?
So beef, sight, smell, hair, blood, all have been built using sunlight and water for ingredients.
Understand?
Monday, September 13, 2010
DAVID SEDARIS DAVID SEDARIS DAVID SEDARIS
Blog number 415 **** 13 September, 2010
This then, is an ode to David Sedaris. "Who is David Sedaris?" You ask. "A very funny writer," I answer.
I first read one of his books - "Me Talk Pretty One Day," several years ago. He also every once in awhile appears in the New Yorker. He is funny. Very funny. I like funny. I adore funny. I bought my granddaughter a copy 'cause she likes funny too and I like to share funny.
A couple of weeks ago I somehow got it into my head to read the book again, so I ordered a copy from the library, and I remembered the first story, about his having to attend speech classes that were designed to get rid of his lisp (Yes, he's one of those. Unashamedly so) but every story from then on was absolutely new to me.
I was convinced that I had only read that first story and then somehow stopped reading and forever after thought I had read the whole book. I do things like that pretty often nowadays. That and losing important items has made my life pretty darn interesting, let me tell you. But then the rest of the stories were familiar again. So what happened? Was it me or did I get a different copy of the same book? Who knows? I don't.
I thought I had more to write. I fooled myself, I guess. "Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me again, umm. well, just don't do it." I paraphrased because I forget how Bush actually said it. I could probably Google it, but I'm a little lazy today. I'm old.
I think that Bush malapropism and the one that the South Carolina beauty queen did about "The Iraq" are two of my very favorite stumbles.
You know, I saw that girl on a news program a day or two after her gaff - could have been "Good Morning America" or something like that, and they had her read an item off the prompter - could have been a weather report. When she was done, the two talking heads praised her in a very condescending manner. Like she was a two year old that had jut drank her milk from a cup without spilling for the very first time. "That was good! Really, really good!"
She just read writing. Even I could do that and I've never been a beauty contest winner. Not lately anyhow.
This then, is an ode to David Sedaris. "Who is David Sedaris?" You ask. "A very funny writer," I answer.
I first read one of his books - "Me Talk Pretty One Day," several years ago. He also every once in awhile appears in the New Yorker. He is funny. Very funny. I like funny. I adore funny. I bought my granddaughter a copy 'cause she likes funny too and I like to share funny.
A couple of weeks ago I somehow got it into my head to read the book again, so I ordered a copy from the library, and I remembered the first story, about his having to attend speech classes that were designed to get rid of his lisp (Yes, he's one of those. Unashamedly so) but every story from then on was absolutely new to me.
I was convinced that I had only read that first story and then somehow stopped reading and forever after thought I had read the whole book. I do things like that pretty often nowadays. That and losing important items has made my life pretty darn interesting, let me tell you. But then the rest of the stories were familiar again. So what happened? Was it me or did I get a different copy of the same book? Who knows? I don't.
I thought I had more to write. I fooled myself, I guess. "Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me again, umm. well, just don't do it." I paraphrased because I forget how Bush actually said it. I could probably Google it, but I'm a little lazy today. I'm old.
I think that Bush malapropism and the one that the South Carolina beauty queen did about "The Iraq" are two of my very favorite stumbles.
You know, I saw that girl on a news program a day or two after her gaff - could have been "Good Morning America" or something like that, and they had her read an item off the prompter - could have been a weather report. When she was done, the two talking heads praised her in a very condescending manner. Like she was a two year old that had jut drank her milk from a cup without spilling for the very first time. "That was good! Really, really good!"
She just read writing. Even I could do that and I've never been a beauty contest winner. Not lately anyhow.
Thursday, September 9, 2010
FEED THE GIVER OF DREAMS
Blog number 414 **** 09 September, 2010
My wife and I went to Phoenix this morning, to Chandler Mall. Chandler Mall has an outdoor fountain where people throw coins in the fountain. When we walked upon this fountain, two little boys and a grandma were there. The boys were looking at the water squirting in the air and falling back into the pond while the grandma stayed back watching.
We asked the grandma if it would be all right if we gave the boys a penny each to throw into the water. She thought that a great idea. She proceeded to tell the boys to throw their pennies into the water and "make a wish for a good job."
"Throw the penny in. Make a wish for a good job," she exhorted several times. The first kid threw his in and the grandma thrilled, "Good job."
I told my wife I had never before seen a wish come true so fast.
My wife and I went to Phoenix this morning, to Chandler Mall. Chandler Mall has an outdoor fountain where people throw coins in the fountain. When we walked upon this fountain, two little boys and a grandma were there. The boys were looking at the water squirting in the air and falling back into the pond while the grandma stayed back watching.
We asked the grandma if it would be all right if we gave the boys a penny each to throw into the water. She thought that a great idea. She proceeded to tell the boys to throw their pennies into the water and "make a wish for a good job."
"Throw the penny in. Make a wish for a good job," she exhorted several times. The first kid threw his in and the grandma thrilled, "Good job."
I told my wife I had never before seen a wish come true so fast.
Wednesday, September 8, 2010
THERE ARE MANY MYSTERIES IN THE DESERT
Blog number 414 **** 08 September, 2010
I went to Lowe's this morning. For those of you who don't know, Lowe's is a chain store like Home Depot. I went to get some fiberboard for a large jigsaw puzzle I am doing, and while there I thought I would pick up some garden hose washers. One of our hose connections has been leaking for some time now. I looked for these washers in Lowe's two weeks ago. I found the garden hoses, but couldn't find the washers and I didn't want to ask, so I left without them. But today I was determined to buy some.
I got my fiberboard and asked the lumber lady where the garden hose washers would be. She directed me to the hose section. On the way there, this guy asked if I needed help. I told him I needed garden hose washers. He said, "What?" So I repeated. He seemed puzzled and asked me a few more questions, so I explained about garden hoses and garden hose washers and it was like he had never heard of such a thing. This is in the middle of a desert, right? Water is essential. One of the ways we move water from here to there is with hoses.
We walked to where the garden hoses were. Couldn't find any washers. He asked me a few more questions about what I was looking for, so I picked up a roll of garden hose, fully expecting to find a washer tied to one of the bands holding the coiled hose - like is always there, so I could show him what they looked like. No washer. I picked up another coiled hose, same thing, And another. Nothing.
"That's weird," I thought, " This is the middle of a desert. We need water hoses and water hoses need washers. I am in lowe's. This is a huge hardware store carrying many hardware items. Where are the lowly hose washers, huh?"
I even explained to the guy at one time that no washer, big leak. Can't use hose without washer. Never. Must use hose in desert. Often.
My helper calls for help, we are directed to plumbing section. I told him they shouldn't be there. The only place these washers are ever used is in garden hoses. They should be in the garden hose section, not plumbing section. And we can't find them there. He calls for help. HIS helper comes over. He points to section of washers. They are not there. I told him about they should be in the hose section anyhow. I also have to explain to him what garden hose washers are and what they do. I finally tell them I will go to Ace Hardware and get them. And I did.
I am now curious as to the result of my experience on Garden-Hose-Washers-In-Lowe's. I'll check back in a couple of weeks and let you know.
Maybe.
I went to Lowe's this morning. For those of you who don't know, Lowe's is a chain store like Home Depot. I went to get some fiberboard for a large jigsaw puzzle I am doing, and while there I thought I would pick up some garden hose washers. One of our hose connections has been leaking for some time now. I looked for these washers in Lowe's two weeks ago. I found the garden hoses, but couldn't find the washers and I didn't want to ask, so I left without them. But today I was determined to buy some.
I got my fiberboard and asked the lumber lady where the garden hose washers would be. She directed me to the hose section. On the way there, this guy asked if I needed help. I told him I needed garden hose washers. He said, "What?" So I repeated. He seemed puzzled and asked me a few more questions, so I explained about garden hoses and garden hose washers and it was like he had never heard of such a thing. This is in the middle of a desert, right? Water is essential. One of the ways we move water from here to there is with hoses.
We walked to where the garden hoses were. Couldn't find any washers. He asked me a few more questions about what I was looking for, so I picked up a roll of garden hose, fully expecting to find a washer tied to one of the bands holding the coiled hose - like is always there, so I could show him what they looked like. No washer. I picked up another coiled hose, same thing, And another. Nothing.
"That's weird," I thought, " This is the middle of a desert. We need water hoses and water hoses need washers. I am in lowe's. This is a huge hardware store carrying many hardware items. Where are the lowly hose washers, huh?"
I even explained to the guy at one time that no washer, big leak. Can't use hose without washer. Never. Must use hose in desert. Often.
My helper calls for help, we are directed to plumbing section. I told him they shouldn't be there. The only place these washers are ever used is in garden hoses. They should be in the garden hose section, not plumbing section. And we can't find them there. He calls for help. HIS helper comes over. He points to section of washers. They are not there. I told him about they should be in the hose section anyhow. I also have to explain to him what garden hose washers are and what they do. I finally tell them I will go to Ace Hardware and get them. And I did.
I am now curious as to the result of my experience on Garden-Hose-Washers-In-Lowe's. I'll check back in a couple of weeks and let you know.
Maybe.
Tuesday, September 7, 2010
IS THIS SOME KIND OF A CRUEL JOKE?
Blog number 412 **** 07 September, 2010
I'm reading this book see, and I learn that a steam engine doesn't get its power from the pressure of the steam like we've always been told, but rather from the vacuum created by squirting cold water into a chamber of steam, condensing the steam. The use of a vacuum rather than pressure was discovered quite by accident, due to a leak in a faulty soldering that let cold water into a chamber filed with steam.
Two Englishmen - Newcomen and Calley, had a working steam engine and while trying to get the cylinder down to room temperature after the steam had been used, water was accidentally sprayed into the chamber, causing the steam to condense, creating a vacuum that caused such an increase in power that it broke the chain attached to the piston, broke the bottom of the chamber and even broke the top of the furnace used for heating the steam.
The author then goes on to describe when Watt got the idea to improve upon this method of using steam (I was taught that Watt was the inventor of the steam engine, but evidently he was not, yes?) The author even mentions that the old story about Watt watching the lid of a tea kettle bobble must be a false urban story because see, Watt was interested in the vacuum side of steam power, not the pushing side.
So this morning I look up Steam Engines, Operation Of, on the Internet because I wanted to see how they actually put this idea to work on a locomotive and I find that not only do they use steam pressure, but a double steam pressure so that the piston is PUSHED by steam both ways. No vacuum. None. Nil.
"Whaaaaa!" I thought, "I've just been convinced that a vacuum is the most powerful source of steam power, I've also been convinced that Watt was only interested in improving the vacuum side of the steam engine dialog, and now I find out that all that has been thrown away in favor of the lowly pressure side. Are you kidding me?"
By the way, if you're interested, the title of this fascinating book is,"The Most Powerful Idea In the World."
I'm still a little bummed about the whole thing.
I'm reading this book see, and I learn that a steam engine doesn't get its power from the pressure of the steam like we've always been told, but rather from the vacuum created by squirting cold water into a chamber of steam, condensing the steam. The use of a vacuum rather than pressure was discovered quite by accident, due to a leak in a faulty soldering that let cold water into a chamber filed with steam.
Two Englishmen - Newcomen and Calley, had a working steam engine and while trying to get the cylinder down to room temperature after the steam had been used, water was accidentally sprayed into the chamber, causing the steam to condense, creating a vacuum that caused such an increase in power that it broke the chain attached to the piston, broke the bottom of the chamber and even broke the top of the furnace used for heating the steam.
The author then goes on to describe when Watt got the idea to improve upon this method of using steam (I was taught that Watt was the inventor of the steam engine, but evidently he was not, yes?) The author even mentions that the old story about Watt watching the lid of a tea kettle bobble must be a false urban story because see, Watt was interested in the vacuum side of steam power, not the pushing side.
So this morning I look up Steam Engines, Operation Of, on the Internet because I wanted to see how they actually put this idea to work on a locomotive and I find that not only do they use steam pressure, but a double steam pressure so that the piston is PUSHED by steam both ways. No vacuum. None. Nil.
"Whaaaaa!" I thought, "I've just been convinced that a vacuum is the most powerful source of steam power, I've also been convinced that Watt was only interested in improving the vacuum side of the steam engine dialog, and now I find out that all that has been thrown away in favor of the lowly pressure side. Are you kidding me?"
By the way, if you're interested, the title of this fascinating book is,"The Most Powerful Idea In the World."
I'm still a little bummed about the whole thing.
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