LIFE IN THE OTHER UNIVERSE

Blog number 392 **** 06 June 2009

I'm reading this most fascinating autobiography of promoter, agent, manager, of movies, movie stars, music artists and musicals, theatre, and sports, friend and confidant of such notables as Frank Sinatra, Elvis, John Denver, Robert Altman, et al., Jerry Weintraub.

The title of the book is, "When I Stop Talking, You'll Know I'm Dead."

Jerry tells of the trials and tribulations of those whom most of us envy. He said that they are usually very paranoid and worried people. They worry about whether they are still employable, and for how long. They don't work for a salary, they do piece work. If they don't produce, they don't get paid, and it is up to others whether or not they get work where they can produce.

Jerry once got a call from his assistant that John Denver, who was working in Europe, was going to fire Jerry.

Jerry went to Europe to talk to John. John told him that he was going to have to fire him. Jerry asked why. John says that nothing was going right. The hotels stink, the food is no good, the venues are awful, the sound systems are terrible, the band is furious. Nothing is right.

Jerry said, "look, I just got off a flight. Let me get some rest and then we'll talk."

So later they went to dinner. When they sat down, Jerry told John, "Look. Before we eat, I want you to know I've taken care of the problem."

"How?"

"I fired Ferguson."

"Who's Ferguson?"

"Well, Ferguson was in charge of the hotels, the venues, the food, the sound system, all that. Now that he's been fired, I think you will see a big difference."

While they are eating, Jerry is downcast, brooding. John notices and asks him what's wrong."I'm feeling bad about Ferguson. He screwed up, but he's not a bad guy. And now he has no salary and he won't get his bonus and it's right before Christmas. For godsakes, John, Ferguson has a family!"

They sit in silence for a bit and finally John says, "Darn it. I feel bad about Ferguson too."

Time goes by and Jerry says, "I got an idea. Instead of firing him, let's move him into another part of the business, away from people."

"Hide him you mean?"

"Yeah. Hide him."

There was really nothing wrong with the hotels, the food, the venue. John Denver had just gotten himself worked up and needed to stand up for himself. Jerry knew John was also very compassionate and would eventually feel bad about firing Ferguson, "which was why we hired him back."

The next night, on the way back from the show, Jerry asked how things were going. "How was the venue, how was the sound?"

"Oh, much better," John said. "I could tell the difference right away. I'm glad we could fix it without firing Ferguson."

Of course, there was no Ferguson.

*****************

Jerry asks, "Can the child of a rich man have the same ambition as a kid from the Bronx?"

One evening, one of Jerry's daughters, having just flown on a commercial plane for the first time in her life, called him in a panic. "My God," she said, "the way they jam you in, and make you sit there, in one seat, it's like a prison!"