WRITE ME A POEM TOO, BABY

Blog number 355 **** 13 December 2009

In the late fifties we - my wife and I, got a hold of a book called, "Write Me A Poem, Baby." It's a collection of writings by youngsters with the original misspellings and ignorances. Funny book.

Late in the seventies we got to talking about this book and we wanted to read it again, but couldn't find it anywhere. Several times over the years we would make another attempt to find it with no luck until finally just a few weeks ago, my wife got one from Amazon.com.

I'm going to give you a few excerpts. I hope you all enjoy it as much as we did. The first one is a one-act play entitled, "Grandmother Has Gone To The Bar - Huk." It was written by a nine year old girl. Here 'tis.

STEP-MOTHER - I'm tired of living here, I've always wanted to be an actress.

FATHER - You certainly don't care for the children think of what they'll go threw grandmother is always getting drunk.

MOTHER - If the children can't get along by there self its to bad I can't help it if grandmother gets drunk.

(children enter)

JO - Guess what I don't have any homework.

FATHER - Good do you have any Clover.

CLOVER - A little bit.

DICK - A little bit my foot.

(Grandmother Enters)

GRANDMOTHER - I've huk squesed the potatoes, huk and pealed the huk, lemons.

MOTHER - Oh dear.

FATHER - Granny wouldn't you like to get some water.

GRANDMOTHER - later on I'm going to the bar now.

JO - If you don't go to the bar more than twise a day I'll eat my hat.

GRANDMOTHER - You don't have any to eat huk.

MOTHER - Come on in and eat children.

FATHER - Grandmothers gone to the bar.

MOTHER - Thank Gonnese.

FATHER - You know the children can't stay with her.

MOTHER - They are not my children where is there real mother.

FATHER - Its a long story but you remember that big tank full of gas that started leaking in Gayton well we lived a block away and I was reading a paper and my wife was soing on some close and I opened the door and a man said the gas tank was busted so I ran for the boys and my wife ran for Clover. It was so fogie outside I couldn't see.

MOTHER - The children must have very bad memerys not to remember this.

FATHER - Well Dick was only two but he slept threw the whole thing Jo was one and Clover was 3 months well the streets were crowded my wife sliped on a rock I don't know exactly how we got apart but I notised she was missing many a times I looked for her but i never found her.

MOTHER - How queer.

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When Nora Johnston was ten she produced her own newspaper called, Mairsy Doats. Nora's newspaper was dedicated to eternal resistance to tyranny - the tyranny of parents. Two of Nora's fighting editorials follow.

CLEANLINESS IS NOT NEXT TO GODLINESS
We have discovered that in the soap factory they throw the soap by bushels into dirty old tubs, they don't care what happens to it, and most of the soap you get has been left standing at least two weeks. They call it anything they can think of and the labels are mixed. Soap is impure to the body and creates a rash on the limbs.

CANDY
One of the most nutritious foodstuffs is that delicious object, manufactured all over the world, namely, candy. There are lots of kinds of candy, old fashioned sugarplums, stick candy, molasses, fudge and candy drops. The two principles of candy are hard candy and soft candy and they're both good. DID YOU KNOW THAT candy and sodas and sundaes and ice cream of all kinds have more vitamins and calories than any food in the world? That fudge should be made every day to sustain life?