STILWELL

Blog number 218                                                              10 September 2008

General Stilwell was not only a magnificent soldier's general, but a prolific writer.  Notes, messages, diary entries, poems, plays, treatises, plans.

Here's one of his short "plays."

                                             The Messenger

The Messenger has returned from (presumably) delivering a letter.
Q.  Did you deliver the letter?
A.  Yes.
Q.  To whom did you give it?
A.  I gave it to Mr. Oleson.
Q.  But Mr. Oleson was not there.  He is here now.  You could not have given it to him.
A.  Oh, no.  I gave it to the interpreter.
Q.  But the interpreter is also here with Mr. Oleson, and says you did NOT give to him.
A.  Oh, yes.  I gave it to the cook.
Q.  What cook?
A.  The cook up there.
Q.  Up where?
A.  At Hsich Kung Ling.
Q.  But there is no cook, or house, or anything at Hsich Kung Ling.
A. Yes.  I really gave it to the cook.
Q.  But listen to me!  There is NO COOK there!  To whom did you give the letter?
A.  I gave it to the ma-foo [groom].
Q.  What ma-foo?
A.  Mr. Oleson's ma-foo.
Q.  But Mr. Oleson has no ma-foo, so you did not give it to him.
A.  Ma-foo?
Q.  Yes, ma-foo-ma-foo.
A.  Oh, I gave it to the letter carrier.

About this time the average foreigner gives it up and either writes another letter, murders the messenger, or goes home by the next boat.  The next morning the letter is probably found on the dining-room table.