ONE ODDS, ONE ENDS

Blog number 104                                               July 22, 2007

I just erased a long bit of writing because I am pretty sure people would misunderstand what I was doing.  I have changed so much from what I was like forty years ago that to me it is like I can see that person from the inside.  Like he is different from me and thus I can look at him and his thoughts and his behavior from the inside, as different from my thoughts and behavior. 

If that makes sense.

The writing involved anecdotal tales of my unusual behavior and thoughts about money. 

When I started making these extreme changes, I used to tell my friends of some behavior I just did, believing unconsciously that they would understand that I was speaking of a new and unusual event.  Like doing something with complete confidence instead of as my usual meek, shy, "of no consequence" person. They would interpret my report as bragging. 

What I just erased would probably be interpreted like that, but if I told it about another person, people would probably find it interesting. Maybe not, but I think they would.  Anyhow, that's why I erased it.

I really wish there was no such thing as "big ego" so people could talk straight about their lives. Explain what they are about.

I thought for a long while I could at least talk straight to Teresa my wife, but alas, she interprets things like that as due to my big ego more than any other person.  I don't mind being thought of as having a big ego, but I do object to having my actions dismissed as due to some self-promotion.  What's the use of saying anything about some unusual or ludicrous action if it will be thrown out as made up to prove that I am a great guy.  Huh?
                                      **********************

We went to Mimi's today, and as we walked in, a little three year old girl smiled gleefully and said, "HI!"  After we sat down, I went out to get a pack of crayons for her and when I asked the mother if I could give them to her, before the mother could say anything, the little girl reached out her hand to them and said, "Please?  Please?"

Her mother spoke a few words and in a voice I have learned is used by deaf people.  At the same time she signed at the little girl, holding her palm to her chest and waving away.  This caused the little girl to say, "Thank you, thank you," to me.

When the waitress brought their food, I heard the tot say, "Thank you, thank you."  Seemingly, she loved to say thank you.  I think she just picked it up that strongly just at that time.

When I came back from washing my hands in the rest room, I noticed the little girl signing to her mother.  Three years old!

Her voice was so sweet - like silver bells.
                                                  *************
At another time, at Mimi's, we talked to a girl baby and when we left, her siblings all said "bye," and then the little girl said it and all the children were excited.  "The baby said, 'Hi.'  The baby said 'Hi.' "

I guess Teresa and I were fortunate to have been there at such an auspicious occasion. 

I felt that way anyhow.