Blog number forty-nine Oct. 15, 2006
Starting in the sixties, a Suggestion Program was initiated in the Air Force, and I think in all government agencies. Cash awards were given if a suggestion was accepted that would save money, make a process more efficient, or anything else that would benefit the Air Force and ultimately, Our Government. A few years into it, I was assigned to a task that enabled me to walk around the base talking to different people, watching what they did -- a general all around wonderful job. I had absolutely no responsibility. I did whatever I wanted. Which wasn't much.
I began watching the awards given for suggestions and I noticed that while a suggestion was accepted and the suggester awarded a great deal of money -- sometimes in the thousands and not all that rarely, in the tens of thousands, the suggestions were very often never implemented. I started checking out why, and I found that the "new" way of doing something was not worth the trouble -- it was tried and found wanting, or the "fix" fixed something that wasn't broken in the first place, or the department never got around to implementing the new suggestion because they had work to do and didn't have the time to waste on what was obviously a dumb suggestion.
It seems obvious in retrospect, that if an idea was any good, it would already have been initiated and used, anyhow. Without any award. I mean, I don't think the invention of the wheel or of the steam engine was accomplished because of any suggestion program. Sheeze!
The problem basically lay with the suggestion being evaluated by the suggester and his buddies -- although of course, it was not supposed to work that way, but anyone with half a brain could see that only those people with the know-how that enabled them to evaluate a suggestion had to be employed in the department that employed suggester. I mean, a mechanic was not going to evaluate a new form for writing up payroll. A clerk was not going to invent a new process for checking the balance on propellers.
I remember one suggestion that came from an enlisted man that had just finished a course in colbol language for computers in college, to have the data cards changed into colbol language I asked him how this could be done and he didn't know -- "have someone else do it -- just pay me the money for suggesting it and I thank you." Or words to that effect. Made me want to suggest that someone invent a time machine so we could make WW2 come out even better -- maybe have a large force of aircraft carriers on the ready at pearl harbor in 1941. I could make a lot of bucks if I got that suggestion OKed.
Another suggestion was to put trash cans in the barracks parking lot so the men would put their trash in it instead of on the ground. That one was evaluated and denied by the Bobbsy Twins that I told you about earlier with the explanation that it was against the rules to litter, so the men shouldn't be throwing trash on the ground anyhow.
All in all, a pretty sorry mess. Cost the Air force lots of money, lots of wasted man-hours, lots of other bad things -- probably even global warming in later years, I dunno. The suggestion program was still going on when I left in 1974 and I imagine it is still going on.
One day I decide to put in a suggestion to do away with the suggestion program, listing the different suggestions that had been approved and awarded and their total noncompliance and why they were not implemented, and the money awarded. I heard about a week later from my Pinochle buddy who sat in on Chief of Maintenance meetings that the guy running the suggestion program had sent my suggestion to the Chief of Maintenance along with a remark that I "evidently didn't understand the suggestion program." My friend said the Colonel said that I seemed to understand the suggestion program very well.
The guy running the suggestion program denied my suggestion and I wrote back saying that he was obviously biased since he was being paid to run the program I was suggesting be obliterated. He responded that a new person would be on board in six months and we could have him evaluate it. I agreed and lo and behold, when the new guy took over the suggestion program,he denied my suggestion. Saw that one coming a mile off.
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I had a sergeant that told me that he was in an aircraft that caught on fire and the pilot told everyone to bail out but my sergeant refused. He said the pilot kept insisting, and all the other crew members bailed out, but he said he was too scared and he would be damned if he would. He said the pilot argued with him, but he was adamant and finally the pilot stayed with him and eventually landed the plane.
Too bad the suggestion program wasn't in effect then. For my sergeant's suggestion to stay with the plane, he saved the Air Force and our Government a lot of money. I don't know how much since I didn't have the curiosity to ask the sergeant what type of plane it was, but it must have been a large one, carrying a crew.
This same guy was being hounded by the suggestion program to have his department put in more suggestions so in order to satisfy them, he started putting in silly suggestion, like keeping the base swimming pool open all winter so those who like to swim in freezing water could do so.
One of his men got injured during a basketball game and when that happens, you have to fill out a form describing how and why it happened and what is being done to prevent such injuries in the future. He suggested that basketball players wear helmets and shoulder pads, and a face mask during games. He said the Captain called him on the phone and asked if he were being sarcastic. He said, "Why no. Football players didn't wear protection at one time, but now it is thought to be a good thing." He mollified the Captain, who probably wasn't all that convinced, but what could he do?
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I was flying with a training mission once and I heard over the intercom the navigating instructor notify the pilot that a mountain was coming up and we wereflying below its crest. A few minutes pass and the instructor again notifies the pilot -- "Uh Pilot, there is a mountain dead ahead and we are below its crest." "Roger, " replies the pilot. A few minutes go by and the instructor again notifies the pilot and this time his voice sounds a little stressed. I start to lose my confidence in the pilot's good sense. And a few minutes later, almost sounding like a command, "Pilot! Mountain dead head." A pause, then, "Roger." Another pause and the plane begins to rise. I kinda think the pilot for some reason, was messing with the instructor's head.
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